What happens to you when moving to a foreign country?

All over the world, expatriates are huddled together in restaurants and bars talking about their homeland and the experience of leaving. All these people that are gathered usually do not come from one country, they represent multiple. France, Sweden, the US, Norway, India, Denmark, Canada, Australia etc. The warm, but nostalgic chat goes on and on about life in this new country, and what a beautiful life they are all living. Moreover, that is far from the only subject they are talking about.

Something else that lingers between all of them is fear. First, fear of fitting in, of finding new friends. Fear of the unknown, a new culture, a new language, a new country. At some point, this fear ebbs out, but then another fear hits you. The fear of “What am I missing?” Another birthday party, family gathering, your niece growing up, people getting married. You realize that life goes on without you. People change, they have become different people, and so have you.

There is no denying that this change takes place. Living in another country will fundamentally change you and widen your mental horizon. You take on qualities from the people around you, good and bad, and as a result, your mannerisms, way of talking and thinking change. What is important is to remember that there is nothing wrong with that. When deciding to move, you also decide, consciously or not, to evolve and to change.

Many people move for exactly the reason of change, however, some move because they are sick of the place they are currently living in. They are fatigued of doing the same things every single day, the same people, the same restaurants where they have eaten everything on the menu. Moving to a foreign country brings along a sense of freedom. You get to escape from yourself in a way, and start all over somewhere new.

Suddenly, walking streets up and down gives a feeling of delight. Even going to the grocery store is tremendously thrilling, where you have to communicate in another language, as well as finding and trying new food. The most exhilarating thing might be meeting amazing people from different parts of the world, and before you know it, you have friends from every single continent, whom you walk on the beach with, eat lunch or celebrate New Year’s Eve with. It is almost like being a child again. You have to start everything all over, get to know new places, languages, as well as people.

Then again, there is the fear of missing out that hits you. You realize that life goes completely on without you. Most expats know one person who has lived abroad for 20 years, and cannot even imagine moving back home. Because what once was home, is not home anymore. It might still be their nationality (at least according to the passport), but not home. Life at that place has changed too much. Their new country has taken the place as their new home, and for every day that passes, you realize that you gradually become this person yourself.

It is then you understand that you will always be an expat, no matter where you are living. You will never be one person again. You will always be two distinct people, constantly longing for the other country. No matter where you live on this Earth, you will permanently miss the people you love, you will miss the nature, the culture, the language, and you will miss almost everything about the country you are not currently living in. To get on that plane has a vast price; however, I am never going to regret taking that step.